Fishing Jokes

[salmondan]

Some members have asked for a jokes thread so I'll kick off with this:

There was once a priest that loved fishing, one year however, every time he tried to go fishing something spoiled it. Sometimes it was the weather, other times he had to work. He had not cast a line all year when on the very last day of the season conditions were perfect, unfortunately it was a Sunday. The priest couldn't resist and called a fellow priest to take over his sermon claiming he was too ill.

The fishing priest drove for 3 hours to ensure that nobody he knew would see him. As he was tackling up, a passing angel saw the priest and went straight to God and said "You surely can't let him get away with this can you?". God was furious and agreed that something must be done to punish the priest.

The first cast that the priest made was perfect and as the fly swung round it was taken by something huge. For 7 hours the priest and the fish battled, both becoming weary. Eventually the fish was beaten and the priest landed a 70lb fresh run salmon.

The angel turned to God and said "What are you doing? I thought you were going to punish him", to which God replied "Think about it, who's he going to tell?"

[pertempledog]

maybe not entirely about fishing but near enough to tell it anyway.

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables,

horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was

properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.



One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he

hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five

gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the

pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.



As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women

skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence

and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him,

"We're not coming out until you leave!"



The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies

swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the

bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

[salmonscotty16lb]

not a joke as such but made me laugh

one lovely Saturday night trout fishing i bumped into a local man of the cloth as we spoke of fishing ect he informed he really wanted a Indian on the way home but he couldn't as he was working next day and didn't want to fart ;D
thats true! minister by day trout and curry lover by night ;D

[salmondan]

A chap is fishing one day and catches a cracker of a fish. He's just about to chap it on the head when the fish says "Please don't kill me mister, I'm the only talking fish in the world". The gent says "What's your name then?" to which the fish replied "My name is Rusty and I'm the only talking salmon in the world, please let me go". So the man lets him go.

Five years later, he's fishing in the same spot when a fish swims right up to him and says "Hello friend, remember me?". The man says "Rusty? Great to see you again, what have you been up to?". The fish says "Well I've been doing a bit of swimming. Oh yeah and I found the Titanic, it was such a majestic sight that I've written a book of poems about it". The angler says "What have you called the book? I'll look out for it".

To which the fish replies "It's called The TITANIC VERSES, by SALMON RUSTY"!