Post by castlikeaghille on Mar 10, 2007 20:47:59 GMT
As we approach the more clement spring months, the keen salmon fuisher is likely to encounter that most heinous of hazards; the Buffty on the other bank.
How to Spot a Buffty:
1. He (it's always a he unless it's Granny Guinness at Aboyne who at 93 and fishing is worthy of utmost respect) will be sporting ocean chest waders, and a birch tree with blue string for a wading staff
2. Otherwise they are likely to wearing a Barbour. or even more of a give away, a Tweed shooting coat and something similar to cover the comb over barnet.
3. They will be driving a VW Polo hired form the airport
4. They will be carrying some strange looking wicker picnic basket which on closer inspection turns out to be their tackle bag
5. Their tackle will be a Bruce and Walker rod with a Marquis No 2 set on the right hand side...but winding backwards/anti-clockwise to retrieve.
6. Maximum casting range is 5 yards in a heap
7. Minimum fly size is a size 6 Ally's from the WAC
8. Maximum distance they will move in 1 hour 10 yards
9. Minimum number of casts per spot 10
10. Probability of some posh bird in her 50's with sunglasses a scarf on her head, a stupid small dog turning up and ignoring you when you say hello 99%
11. Probability of Buffty saying well done if you catch a fish in the same pool 0.2%
12. Likelihood, in the miraculous event of Bufty hooking a real fish, other than playing a rock for ten minutes, and then dragging it over grit and sand and taking 15 minutes to unhook it and throw it back 99.9%
13. Probability of Buffty complaining to your ghillie that you've done this that and the other because you've caught a couple of fish from behind him, or finally fished through him after politely requesting 20 times that he observes all known salmon etiquette and cast and moves 100%
Suggestions for dealing with Buffty welcome
CLaG
How to Spot a Buffty:
1. He (it's always a he unless it's Granny Guinness at Aboyne who at 93 and fishing is worthy of utmost respect) will be sporting ocean chest waders, and a birch tree with blue string for a wading staff
2. Otherwise they are likely to wearing a Barbour. or even more of a give away, a Tweed shooting coat and something similar to cover the comb over barnet.
3. They will be driving a VW Polo hired form the airport
4. They will be carrying some strange looking wicker picnic basket which on closer inspection turns out to be their tackle bag
5. Their tackle will be a Bruce and Walker rod with a Marquis No 2 set on the right hand side...but winding backwards/anti-clockwise to retrieve.
6. Maximum casting range is 5 yards in a heap
7. Minimum fly size is a size 6 Ally's from the WAC
8. Maximum distance they will move in 1 hour 10 yards
9. Minimum number of casts per spot 10
10. Probability of some posh bird in her 50's with sunglasses a scarf on her head, a stupid small dog turning up and ignoring you when you say hello 99%
11. Probability of Buffty saying well done if you catch a fish in the same pool 0.2%
12. Likelihood, in the miraculous event of Bufty hooking a real fish, other than playing a rock for ten minutes, and then dragging it over grit and sand and taking 15 minutes to unhook it and throw it back 99.9%
13. Probability of Buffty complaining to your ghillie that you've done this that and the other because you've caught a couple of fish from behind him, or finally fished through him after politely requesting 20 times that he observes all known salmon etiquette and cast and moves 100%
Suggestions for dealing with Buffty welcome
CLaG
. Failing this try to convince them that the 1000 piece jigsaw you have in the boot of your vehicle would be a much better use of their time 